29 April 2012
So for about a week now I have had "The Old Rugged Cross", stuck in my head. If I were smart or would take time to stop and listen I would have realized that God was trying to tell me something. And today, I was assailed by what that something was.
Today Pastor's sermon was about believing the lie that people make us into who we are. This is untrue...but we believe the lie. I think it is easier for us to believe this lie, because we don't want to admit that we are weak and do not truly give ourselves to Christ. God gives us opportunities in life and let's us make the decisions, which are sometimes the wrong decisions. Then when things go badly, we blame either the person or people involved, or we blame God. "Why is God doing this?" "Doesn't God love me anymore?" "God....where are you?" These are all questions that we ask ourselves, expecting God to explain Himself. LOL This is funny, because a.) God didn't make us decide, and b.) He's been there all along. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, ESV). Since God told us that He would NEVER leave us, then why are we so reluctant to ask Him for help, guidance, or forgiveness? I know for me, I do not like to show that I am human and need help. It's hard for me to ask or accept help from anyone, including my own husband. We have had countless fights over me taking on everything, then getting so tired, nothing gets done. When all I would have to do is say, "Tim do you mind HELPING me?" Christ is the same way. All we have to do is call or cry out to Him and He is there.
Another moment of clarity is when Pastor said that people do not control our lives. We can do things, whether on purpose or accident, to one another to hurt or offend, but it is how we react that matters. There have been many times in the past where someone has hurt my feelings, and I have either cried and closed myself off to others, or gotten mad and talked poorly behind their backs. Well I have decided to work on these things, to become a better person and a better Christian. I hate to admit that in the past, I have just gone through the motions. I have gone to church and showed myself to be a "good" Christian girl for far too long. I don't know at what point in my life this began, because when I was younger I was completely devoted, but somewhere along the way, I lost myself to the world. A world full of disappointment, deceit, murder, and sadness. When all along I could have truly been His daughter, the daughter he created me to be.
There is a song that is perfect for this moment of clarity. It is sung by Steven Curtis Chapman, and it's on a new compilation CD inspired by "The Story". (A new book written by Max Lucado.) The whole CD is amazing and I highly recommend it. I have plans of reading the book. Any way the entire CD is songs sung from a person in the Bible's point of view. For example, Steven Curtis Chapman sings a song from the Thief's point of view.You can watch the music video by going to the link below.
http://youtu.be/hHOG2Ktqoe0
The song talks about how only one of them belonged on the cross, and it was Jesus. The thief has taken things his whole life, and is now feeling the weight of his sin. But what gets me, is how true this song is even today. I may not have taken physical things, but I have taken advantage of people, I have forsaken people with my words or thoughts, and I have forsaken my Lord time and time again.
If we continue to react in anger or with an eye for an eye mindset, then will we ever feel the full affect of God's love. He sent Jesus, His son, to earth to save us all, and did he complain. Did he get offended that people beat, bruised, and mocked him for days? No He asked God to forgive. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34, ESV) In this one act, was Christ not showing us how we where to live and act towards those who have offended or hurt us? We were created in His image, and therefore should shine His light through our actions and feelings. This is hard for us, because our flesh is sinful, but our soul is of the spirit.
So having the song "The Old Rugged Cross", stuck in my head for so long makes complete since. For if I would cling to the cross, then everything would be as is should. I would not suffer for my own failings, but cling to the promise that I have a place in Heaven, where no evil exists.
Once again thank you for stopping by. I pray that you are doing well. Love you.
26 June 2011
Hello
It has been a while since I have updated my blog. Not much has happened, however God is working thourgh my life.
There is one thing that I do not understand, maybe it's because Tim and I have been struggling to concieve, but I don't understand why we glorify teen pregnancy. I remember as a teen, it was embarrising to be pregnant and in high school. Now it appears that it is the thing to do. I realize that in the early days, women married young and had children young. My issue is that most of these young teens are barely teens themselves, not to mention that they are unwed. Now, I don't want this to offend anyone, but I just want to understand.
You know when you struggle with wanting to have a baby and not being able to get pregnant, you take a different out look on these things.
Thank you for stopping by. Let me know if you need prayer for anything. Love you
11 November 2010
So I have not written in a while, but have had several things in my head. For example, our morality; where has it gone? It seems odd to me that as time goes by, we let the definition of morality change. I saw a book being sold on Amazon that was a guide to being a pedophile. Wow...now we are teaching people how to take away the innocence of children. Call me crazy but I do not think that this is what God intended for us to do with the purest part of our race. It is almost as if we have become the current day Sodom and Gamor, I only hope that the Lord uses grace against his children.
That is all I have for now. I will add more later.
God with God
~May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon you fields and,
Until we meet again, may god hold you in the palm of His hand." ~Irish Blessing~
15 August 2010
Ok….so I have this awesome site that Tim started for me, and I have not had a lot of time to write, so I will also use it as a blog. I usually have a lot going through my mind and it would be cool to be able to express my thoughts….even if no one reads it.
Today while driving to visit my parent’s church, I began thinking about my faith and why it is so hard to keep it steadfast. I tried to understand why we question all of life’s twists and turns. About two years ago I was seriously questioning the existence of God. I could not understand why God would let the bad things happen to those whom had been faithfully his. I know I may have had a few bumps and made a few mistakes as a child, but overall I believed whole-heartedly in God and everything he created.
So why, if he loved me enough to die for me, why would he not give me the one thing I asked for…a child. Now those who have known me for years, or even for the past few years have known the struggle that Tim and I have gone through in trying to have a baby. Years of tests and surgeries…of trials and struggles…endless tears.
Here is what I have come up with…
I have not been willing to step aside and let God work miracles through me and in me. I have been so focused in feeling bad for myself, bad for my struggle, and focused on my pain. I questioned His existence, my creator. So why would He give me a son or daughter, when I have turned my back on him?
The one thing he asks for of His children is to follow after him, seeking his face. I have not been doing this. I have been so focused on my dream, or how I have been mistreated. Today was like a “Hello…McFly” awakening. I have been reading the One Year Bible, and at first it was because I was forcing myself to read it. However it has become a necessity now. I will use this blog as a tool to talk about my journey, as the random questions that come up in my mind, and to just tell you how things are going.
If you would like to discuss anything I post on this blog, please feel free to contact me via email. If I offend you, I am sorry, but maybe what offends you is meant to be a tool to make you think.
Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. I pray that the Lord is with you everywhere you go.
Peace be with you.